reblogged from totallyhawkward:
  1. foxalpha:

    falstafff:

    i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
    think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

    as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

    reblogged from godofstrawberries:
  1. haliasjane:

    inbetweenfictionandreality:

    "I waited too long to read the sequel, and now I can’t even remember the characters."

                                                                                                A novel by me

    "I read the whole series in less than two days, and now can’t separate the events of individual books" the thrilling sequel

  1. homosassy:

☯ street style/pale ☯

    homosassy:

     street style/pale 

    reblogged from unseenmadeseen:
  1. I’m a gentle fragile forest creature so don’t ever yell at me you fucking fuck or I’ll eat you.

  1. Me when I play video games

      Me: Fucking die already

      Me: I swear to jesus if I die one more time

      Me: I'M GONNA KILL A MAN I FUCKING DIED AGAIN

      Me: Oh shit hottie alert

      Me: Move bitch, get out the way

      Me: *high pitched screaming*

      Me: Load already

      Me: uNACCEPTABLE

      Me: I'm fucking done. Done. Done with everything.

      Me: *turns off console*

      Me:

      Me: *turns console back on*

      Me: God fucking dammit.

    reblogged from fuckwitty:
  1. jesusinc:

    I love sunglasses, am I looking at that tree? Am I staring at your dick? Who knows!

  1. batdadsmistress:

    SHOTS FIRED.

    • me: im adorable like im literally the cutest person in every room i walk into

      me 4 seconds later: behold the trash lord

  1. blurrys:

chill hazel grace its a metaphor

    blurrys:

    chill hazel grace its a metaphor

  1. condensedbloodmilk:

    trollzin:

    error404s:

    watch this whole thing please

    jfc im laughing my ass off

    watching this video was like sitting in a car accelerating to 150, slamming the breaks, spinning out of control, and barley missing a head on collision with a semi-truck.

    reblogged from kingshezza:
  1. hellamyblake:

    dobraeva:

    *puts my ipod on shuffle and skips every song until i get one i was hoping for*

    image

  1. literallysame:

nohighs:

YOU REALLY THINK A FUCKIN PANCAKE IS GONNA FIX THIS HEATHER

I’ve reblogged this with like 3 different added captions and they all get me every time

    literallysame:

    nohighs:

    YOU REALLY THINK A FUCKIN PANCAKE IS GONNA FIX THIS HEATHER

    I’ve reblogged this with like 3 different added captions and they all get me every time